I just wanted to post something, to bring a little humor into this blog circle.&nb sp; I find easily & read all the serious stuff everywhere else. It's hard to find good native humor out in cyberspace (but they are out there), other than them crazy e-mails we might get from that certain someone slacking off @ work, lol. So I'll post some things I've found over the past couple of years, since I became a cyber-ndn.
Here's one of my faves:
Reposting for new frenz:
Hey I read this on a frenz blog in myspace & posted it on my myspace blog, I don't know where it came from but I really enjoyed it, and passed it on.
I dedicated to all the Snaggers and Snagees out there in NDN Country (potential snags included).
Pass it on to th ose w/a sense of humor who are proud to be NDN . ..
SNAG ON…
…and the adventure begins…
Rez Romance Novel: Chapter 1
One day While looking at books in Wal-Mart, in a futile attempt to find something worthwhile to read, in that literary wasteland, I saw a "white woman loves Indian man" paperback. The woman on the cover had flowing and blowing long blond hair and huge eyes, the guy had a six-pack (no--not beer, muscles), and he had long flowing, Blowing black hair and deep black eyes.  ;
I read the cover right away, extremely pleased at the unexpected treat.&nbs p; Sure enough, the woman's father had been killed by a renegade Injun and she took it upon herself to avenge his death... BUT, she falls in love with the savage killer's twin brother and is thrown into a quandary.
How did she fall in love with a red man??
Does she love him enough to chew hides?
Will she get along with his other wives?
Can't they just be her maids?
Well, I laughed out loud, big gasping, guffaws. People around me stared, but I didn't care. I considered buying the thing for a joke, but then I had a
better idea.
I'll write one myself.&nb sp; Yep don't see why not. I can burn wagons around that author and others like her. I have a distinct advantage because I don't have to look far for raw material. All around me are stories of passion, betrayal, and obsession.
The people the stories would be based on would not dare object lest they be exposed.
Ahhhh hahahahaha .
That was my wicked laugh, thinking of all the loot I'll make. At long last,
I have figured out my true niche, my calling so to speak.
Indian Country and beyond will be Desperatel y reading and then discussing who's who, wondering if they are the hero, seductress , villain or fool in this chapter or that one.And,I' m betting on the rest of the world's fascinatio n with Indians. They will purchase my as yet unpublishe d books by the millions.
So you better be nice to me. I'm gonna be rich!
Here's a sneak peek at my new book: USDA Love, Chapter One:
Moosie looked magnificen t stacking the commoditie s. His body glistened in the dim light of the warehouse, his veins were popping and his arms rippled around the box of Vegetarian beans. He saw me then, and eyed me up and down.
Moosie smiled and the front tooth he was missing wasn't so bad, after all,
He could always get a new one at the clinic. I shook my hair a bit and approached him with a message. "Your counselor called, she wants you to pick her up at seven tonight."
Moosie took his dark glasses off, revealing his narrow golden eyes and said, "Do me a favor, Call her back and say I can't make it. Why don't you pick me up instead?"
I took a deep breath and enlarged my chest. "And" I said, "Your wife called
and asked why you have to work so late."&nbs p;
"Well?" asked Moosie. He looked extremely sexy in a faded red T-shirt with ripped off sleeves and tight Wrangler jeans.
Close to him I inhaled the compelling combinatio n of sweat, aqua velva, frybread, and the deep dark forest.
"Can't, it's my Bingo night."
"Can't or won't?" he asked. Moosie's nickel stained Fingers gripped my arm and we moved in unison to the walk in the cooler.
Inside the cooler Moosie pulled me into his arms and locked his lips and teeth in my neck, all the while pressing me against the butter.&nb sp; He was a gorgeous Native vampire and I his unresistin g victim. It was us two as embraced in a vortex of time. Surely, some of my grandmothe rs had been so
ravished by an awesome warrior such as Moosie.
The temperatur e in the cooler was rising and quickly.&n bsp; Soon the butter was in danger of melting. I was limp, like soft dough, In Moosie's calloused and knowing hands. He kneaded me and his Starchy sweat felt like hot frybread grease on my skin. He was my past, My present, and my future.
I knew now what I had been missing all that time. No wonder these women fight over our men! If any more compared to Moosie, I could, so, like, totally understand . Here I was, locked in a sizzling embrace with the
reservati on Romeo.
All prior resistance had been futile, because I was where I had sworn I would never be. At this thought, I pulled away and beat my fists on his Hairless chest...An d why, was his shirt off anyway?
Stop! Stop!
Don't Stop!
He laughed and grabbed on to the belt loops of my Chic jeans. I could not
withstand his pure animal magnetism for long:
he was all soft hair, probing lips, and hard muscle.
I hated myself but my body had a will of its own and it wanted Moosie.&nb sp; Then, the thought of his wife and his sisters put the skids on. I had just grown back the curly pouf above my forehead and didn't want to scrap my way out of church ever again!
Geez was that ever embarrassi ng. "
Quit! Now! For reals!", I pulled away, turned on the light and inspected my neck in a mirror.&nb sp; I had a ring of hickeys that looked like a freakish disease, but that wasn't the worst of it. They all had a distinctiv e tooth missing that I had seen on other women, and laughed about.
I started to cry, knowing I would be on the hit list.
Moosie took me gently in his arms and said, "Don't Worry little pumpkin, I know an old Indian trick to get rid of hickeys,bu t it has to be done by the light of the moon. I'll pick you up."
I didn't say no again.
It ain't easy bein' a savage.... but dang, someone's gotta do it. Whatever!! .....